Dating Tips from the Parents 4

Chivalry is not dead (Dad sorta, but more from TJ)

 

You ever get that awkward feeling when you’re sitting in the car and you know your date wants to open the door, but you still want to be that independent chick, oh you don’t sorry. Well I always get that feeling when I’m around my friend (more like the original best friend) TJ. TJ is gentlemen, he will open doors, pull out chairs, make you walk on the other side of the road when cars are coming, he will make sure that you are in the house before leaving you at your house even if its broad daylight. He is a true protector, and gentlemen. Granted I use to fight him about some of the stuff like the door thing because I wanted to feel in charge. I was the type that knew that I could take care of myself I didn’t need any man opening my door for me, pulling out my seat, and doing all these other things that he made a priority. Even though I would make a fuss about him doing this stuff, I secretly loved it every time. You know what was funny the last time I went out with a guy he didn’t do any of that, and I was wondering in my head what’s wrong with this man. Was he not trained to open doors, and pull out chairs, did he not know that you’re supposed to walk beside the woman and guide her away from impending dangers. I think well, I know TJ has spoiled me with the chivalry. I love it, I don’t request it but I really love the feeling that I get when I finally run into men that hold doors, open doors, and do all the other duties of the male gentlemen protector.

Dating Tips From the Parents 3

High School love should probably end at senior year graduation (Dad)

 

Good ole Dad, I remember the first time he told me some incarnation of this statement. We were riding in the banana boat aka his box style crown Victoria and he started asking me about my then boyfriend. This is the same person I ended up living with for all those years. My dad was like how can you ever know what you really like and dislike when all you have is one subject to base your theories on. You know what dad was right, even though I got mad at the fact that he could sit and try to tell me that my love wasn’t real, I mean this was the person I was going to marry. I didn’t want to experience the world, to me my whole world revolved around me and my ex. But let me tell you after we broke up many, many, many years later. I finally saw what my dad meant. I had based 7 years of life on this one person, and had missed out of really learning what type of person was really compatible with me. Today I can’t say that I have narrowed it down yet, but I know more and more about the traits that will make a great man for me.

Dating Tips from the Parents 2

Don’t shack up (Mom)

 

I know today is the independent era; everyone wants to live together with their hookups, dates, boyfriends whatever. You do learn a lot about each other with living together, but you also run the chance of smothering that person. I lived with my boyfriend for a couple of years while I was younger like 19-21. Let’s just say it was fun for the first year and then it got annoying. I mean this boy wanted me to be a housewife when I just really started to kind of understand myself, I wanted freedom and what I got was a prison. A self imposed one but a prison none the less. I wanted to be the free independent college student, and actually do things other than focus on academics/athletics which before had been my life but no what I got was go to school, get out of class and go straight into what do you want for dinner, let me help you out with this, oh you want me to ride with you to your parents house ok no problem. I was into a real selfless way of thinking, because I was doing what I was supposed to do, or so I thought. As a college student or as a young adult you shouldn’t have to worry about if someone is going to be mad if you don’t come in by a certain hour. You should be able to be free, and able to just learn from your environment. You need to be able to experiment.

Dating Tips from the Parents 1

It’s amazing how when six letters can cause so much drama in a person’s life. The problems that I see more and more with dating is the lack of respect for the parties involved. It just seems as if women and some men are not demanding the respect they deserve while dating. I used to think that my mom was nagging all of us girls as a kid when she randomly throws out some dating philosophy, or some saying about relationships. I was like my mama surely loves talking about cows and milk, but in reality she was teaching us serious lessons that can make or break your future relationship endeavors. Granted I have not followed every little rule she gave us since I hit puberty, but we all have to learn from our mistakes sometime.

 

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? (Mom, Grandma, everybody)

 

This was the saying I got the most irritated with hearing about. Even though it irritated me, it rang the truest. Sex ruins things for lots of people, some people use it to control, some use it as a means to survive, but the moment you give in the mystique is gone. This especially rings true about dating, until you are in a relationship with someone I wouldn’t think about having sex with them at all anymore. Everyone knows people who have had friendships, future partners; anything messed up because they decided to engage themselves sexually. You can’t have all the benefits of a relationship with someone and then try to build a relationship afterward. I’m not saying it hasn’t been done in the past, but this is a different day. How many people really once they had sex with someone, thought in their head oh man I can’t wait to marry this person we need to get engaged like right now. That mess doesn’t happen and if it does that person is probably a weirdo or a virgin. That milk doesn’t just include sex, it includes all benefits involving relationships, cooking, cleaning, and living together….speaking of living together