Purgatory

Purgatory

Can I love again

Why would I let my heart strain,

Under the weight of your deceit

Why should I allow tears to flow

Never have I felt like this

I hate that I love you with a vengeance

So sick

Letting me down so many times

Thinking it was me,

Feeling as if I was the problem

Was I doing something wrong

My eyes saw the truth,

There’s no denying that at all

Say what you will but I knew

And I know now

My soul feels crushed

My body is void

Feeling as if I’m trapped

In the purgatory of you

Would I rather walk forever

This burden strapped to my chest

Forever feeling the emptiness inside

Is it just a dream, a test of sorts?

Let me wake up

Free me of this hell

Hurt must be in love with me

Feeling his arrows deep within this tomb

Knowing forever it will follow me

It will come back to you

You will feel this grief

This pain will take over

That will be my vengeance

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What is it

What is it about me?

That makes you stumble

But never in the right direction

What is it about me?

That makes you stay

But never around for to long

What is it about me?

That makes you afraid

Never knowing what may be

What is it about me?

That makes you happy

But never taking it for what it is

What is it about me?

That grabs your attention

Is it just a fad?

What is it about you?

That keeps me on my feet

Wishing that it could be

What is it about you?

That haunts my dreams

But never my reality

What is it about you?

That makes me scared

Never knowing if your alone

What is it about you?

That gives me satisfaction

But at your discretion

What is it about us?

Ox and Rat

Ox and Rat

1986

An OX was born

SHE is strong but quiet

Sincere but mischievous

Patient but stubborn

Serious but careful

Lover and a fighter

Fulfiller of needs

Giver of desires

Temptress of fate

Her grace is hidden

Shyness prevails

1984

A rat was born

HE is captivating and charming

Humorous but serious

Strong headed but willing

Wounded but growing

Friend to all but loyal to few

Secrets and confessions

Lust and truth

Giver of desires

Fulfiller of needs

Tempter of my fate

He is the free spirit

1984

A rat is born

HE is captivating and charming

Humorous but serious

Close-minded to most

Loved by many

Content but looking

Loyalty unbridled

Protector of the lost

Passion and truth

Secrets and confessions

Giver of desires

Fulfiller of needs

Tempter of my fate

He is love

2009

Ox and Rats together

Friction seals it

Filling up

The crater in my heart

Troubles run through it

Piece by piece the crater breaks

Time after time I am lost

Discovering the less you seek

The more you find

LOVE over pouring

Stretched out to limits unheard

Satisfaction diminishing

Faced with no end

There is no grace period this is the end

Distance

Today I have decided that I’m going to post some of my poetry hope you enjoy

The difference between black and blue

Is the gray matter that now lives between

Flourishing once into carnal delights

Now the time has come for overview

Your insight is muddled damaged at the least

Tattered are the chances to reconcile

Heartstrings are decapitated

Aimlessly frock licking with whatever opens

No understanding of the anguish you create

Passion enkindled but you found a way

To tear at it piece by piece until it was gone

Making a mockery of what was

No care for the souls you devour

With each curve of your lips hearts flutter

But to one like you, just another notch

Another chance to wet your head

Can one so beautiful be so callous

So condescending, so desensitized

Your heart and soul are colder than an arctic breeze

My mind plays tricks on me, I’m torn betwixt

Knowing you sets me afire one moment

And then drains my essence the next

Never has a human been able to cause such distress

Wanting you to stay close

Not ever wanting to be with out

Damaging my soul with each new day

Waiting for that one moment of realization

Where you will see that it was me all along

Stranding the darkness waiting for the light

Shattered is my conscience, story of a broken heart

Foundations have been built around you

Cracking with each new blow to its center

You walk all over it but still I stay

Biting my tongue at any hint of flaw

Covering up the damage that is you

Asking my self is this how you want me to be, torn

In LOVE with a man who doesn’t love you

Wanting to feel that touch if only for a millisecond

Destroying my frame each time we kiss

Sending me into heaven each time we make love

Forever I wait for the day

When my touch will be enough to take your pain away

With out you my stars disappear leaving my sky dark

But still I ask is this what I want, one sided love

Looking at our picture makes me heavyhearted

Untangling myself from you a little at a time

Will it always be this struggle to get you to see

I don’t know how much more I can take before I implode

I know what the difference between black and blue is…

Its you