Selfish

My friend was talking to me the other day about the problems he has with his girlfriend. He was telling me how that now that she is about to go to college she wants to break up and live her life, but expects him to be there with open arms waiting for her when she finally decides that she has experienced enough. Now this is selfish of her to think that this man is going to wait around for her. I know all to well about this myself. How do you say you love somebody but then you do everything that you used to do. You don’t love that person if you can just as easily go to somebody else and do all the things you do with your man/woman. That just called being selfish. You can’t have your cake and eat it too, and when you do get to do it some thing always goes wrong

Now you see my problem is I love easy, but I don’t trust easily. Then another thing is that I’m an extremely nice person, who will put up with so much more than is within normal standards. So even if you just trashed my room one day, or you got me threated by somebody I will still stick by you no matter what you do to me. In a way some people do tend to try to run over me and try to take advantage of me. When I look at myself I know I hate saying no to anyone, I always feel the need to be the person you can call on. I string myself along so far till I have no room left for myself. People know this about me, that’s why they do the things that they do to me. When I love somebody I really love them, like my dreams are filled with images of whoever the person is, it seems like everything will remind you of that person no matter where you at. I can look at a bench and think of the time we sat there for an hour talking about life, I can look at a rose and think of the one he gave me for valentines, I can look at a pair of clippers and think of him, I can see a picture of John Cena and think of him, I can think about a mix cd and think of him, I can think of Florida and think of him, I can think about a certain type of car and it will too.

(Now you may ask yourself what this has to do with selfish people just keep reading)

That’s where problems always start. So how are you to separate the two, that is the question? Well it took me a long time to figure it out but you never can really fully separate the two. My best friend from Maple Hill and I had this problem while we were growing up. We started off as friends who worked together for my cousin, and then as we matured through the years we saw each other in a new light. It wasn’t just the friendship love it was full blown romantic love. Now we never did anything before, meaning sexual things. Our love was based on the interactions of our friendship. We couldn’t figure out how to deal with it all through high school and then I started dating this guy which made it worse. The whole time I was dating this guy it was always awkward when all of us would try to hang out, because we knew that we loved each other and that nothing was going to come out it, but never the less we knew we loved each other. He would get jealous sometimes at the way my boyfriend would treat me. He and my brother would threaten to double team my boyfriend just because they didn’t like something he had done. I know that he protected me like that because he loved me; he made sure he was the person I could depend on even if my boyfriend couldn’t do something for me. He laid his heart out to me and really at the time I didn’t fully realize the capacity to which he loved me. This man would do anything for me, he knew how to make me smile when my boyfriend would do something stupid and make me cry. He made sure making me happy was his number one priority even when the person I was going with didn’t seem to care about me.

(the explanation is coming just keep going I got off on a tangent)

The time came when I finally went to college and I was about to be a sophomore when he couldn’t take loving me anymore. We stopped talking for about a year. He couldn’t stand to see me hurting anymore, he would constantly tell me that this man was wrong for me; we stopped talking so he could move on with his life. When we did stop talking I felt like a dunce because I knew that the person God wanted me to be with had moved on. I had sat there for years wasting my life on this man who only cares in the world where work and money. After a year passed we finally began talking, I met his girlfriend and everything but now I knew how it felt to be in love with a friend and there was nothing you could do about it.

The only way to maybe make it less apparent was to not be around that person anymore. See I felt just like T felt I was jealous of the relationship that he had with her. In my mind I felt like he was spending to much time with her and neglecting our friendship. I couldn’t take it so I thought that maybe trying to ignore him would help me get through it. It DIDN’T. It just made me think about him more than before. When you are in a relationship with someone its important for you to know the people your other half is involved with. You can’t base a relationship off of nothing. How can you not know who is friends with your other half. You need to really dig deep and find out all you can about the people your man spends time with. That person that your man/woman keeps saying is just a “friend” will turn out to be the other man/woman in there life. Believe me if you want to, but I know all to well about people who are just friends. Do you know how many times I have heard that in my short life only to find concrete evidence to point to another conclusion? Now if you do actually make an effort to become cordial with the people who surround your man then look for signs. Check to see if there are special little looks they give each other, if they have pet names for each other, have inside jokes, they seem to navigate around just each other and no one else the entire time, then maybe you should not be scared but you should dig deeper. I’m not saying that people really just can’t be friends and do this stuff, but this is an idea of things that tend to be seen in the previous observance. People can usually sense when somebody likes the person they are dating, and that was the problem for us when he started dating her she sensed it, but before my boyfriend really was naΓ―ve to it all. That’s the problem with some peoples significant others they are stupid to the fact that someone that is a friend to there man/woman is in love with them. They sit and believe all the nonsense that others tell them, when the truth is right in there face. They would rather stick with a person who’s heart really isn’t all the way there’s. What is worse is when there best friends tell them that the person is not fully with them and they still stick with that person. I can’t really say that they are stupid but it is more of a naivety among the younger generation.

They think just because someone says that they love you, you think that they don’t lie to you. You a fool to believe that the person you with has never lied to you at all. You show people you love them through actions, and if your actions are telling someone that you don’t want to be with them why don’t they see it???? I’m sorry but if you cheat on somebody you don’t want to be with, there’s something in the back of your mind that’s telling you its alright to do this because you don’t want to be with this person. See that’s where the selfishness comes back in, you want to be able to have a relationship, have a side girl/guy, and still hold on to the front that you love this person please stop lying to yourself. The first time you do it maybe it can be ruled off as a mistake, second time maybe…, but after three times of doing the same thing you know what you are doing. You can’t say you feel guilty when you let yourself make the same mistake over and over. You chose to do things your way, no one forces you to open up your leg or put your junk in something. Please don’t have the world thinking you are saint blah blah blah when you really aren’t. see what I learned from T was that if you love someone and you see them being hurt, manipulated, bamboozled, and you tell them this sometimes you just have to leave to them self and let them fix the problems that they find themselves in. you can’t save all your friends, you can’t be there for everyone all the time, and you really can’t convince anyone of the TRUTH when they don’t want to see it. This I learned and have been told quite a few times about it myself so I know. I know that I let this man run over me and never chose to see the things he was doing to me, I was miserable but yet I was in love. I can’t really explain but you get my drift. My friends would try to save me all day they would try to show me what I didn’t want to see. You have to want to see that a person is not right for you. There is no point staying with a DOG because he is just go and lay down with everyone that will let him be with them. But really the whole point of this was about people being selfish. Don’t say you love someone but you feel the need to still go and do the things you would do before you met them. Selfishness is not a good look in a relationship at all. But anyway I’m tired of talking about selfishness so I’m out.

Advertisements